Emotion · Friendship · Letters · Love · Relationship · Uncategorized · Women

A problem shared….

Some say a problem shared is a problem halved….. for me sharing my problem is the equivalent of pointing out my weakness and exposing things that I consider failings….. whether or not they are my fault, they are associated to me and that is enough to make me clam up and keep it all in.

I also feel that speaking it, confirms its existence – whatever the problem may be. So I’m back writing instead as a way of releasing it and I suppose in a small way halving it by (kinda) sharing it with you.

If you are the strong, silent type that is able to read situations, predict reactions or outcomes and solve problems then you will understand why I get perplexed about my own issues and my upset at my lack of solutions  – it feels like a short coming.

I just wanna be happy.

But the “Real” happy, genuinely happy as I have so many dark days…. even with the sun shining and loved ones around I question it all. My trust is low and worrying about external presception has become an element of daily life. Sometimes I question is real happiness even exists, I feel like some people around me have tasted it (at the very least) but I am also aware that how we present is not always what takes place behind closed doors.

I am yet to find a sustainable solution so I just keep marching on, mask firmly in place

Think I will start #21 days of blogging…. so I can review my thoughts

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Emotion · Friendship · Random · Relationship · Uncategorized · Women

No adult-ing today 

You know them days when you wake up and have a list of responsible, sensible things to do but instead you spend the morning in bed, in the rabbit holes that are Instagram and Pinterest ??

So I’m chalking it down to experience and taking the stress out of the situation by rescheduling the things that are not most important and having a chill day….. I deserve it!! 

I’ve spent so much time beating myself up for wanting an extended duvet day but feeling like I was letting the world down . But I’ve learnt (slowly) that “you can’t be all things to all people” , so today I’m just doing me …. 

Advice to me: (pep talk) Its not selfish to take care of yourself 

  I’m just not adulting today 

Uncategorized

First blog post…. 

This should be scary as it’s my way back to writing ….. that’s why I’ve kept the picture, as I am dipping my foot into the pool of emotions and writing. 

I miss the relief that it brings and the escape that it can provide. If I do hit the public button, I hope you will find understanding in my words. 

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