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First blog post…. 

This should be scary as it’s my way back to writing ….. that’s why I’ve kept the picture, as I am dipping my foot into the pool of emotions and writing. 

I miss the relief that it brings and the escape that it can provide. If I do hit the public button, I hope you will find understanding in my words. 


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What a flop !!

How long before a repeated action becomes a habit ??

I’ve set out loads of great tasks set out to make 2018 amazing and I’m flopping already, at day 11……….. DAY 11!!

It’s not like I don’t think the tasks will make me a better person or enhance the life’s of those around me. I just can’t motivate myself to stay on track, I start everyday with a positive attitude and ready for change but in the same vein, every day is full of temptation or procrastination.

How can my old weight be my GOAL weight!! #theshame

I’m really annoyed because had I know this was how it would pan out, I would have been more content then!!

Clearly I’m not disgusted enough with myself….. I just don’t get – Answers on a postcard please

Anyway, after much discussion with my mate, it’s time to commit!!

Today’s lesson – making a change is great, committing to that change is even better !!

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When can I tap out??

First day back at work and I’m like ….. “Nah, this ain’t for me …… ”

I’m ruined

Like kids on the first day of school or you on the first day back at the gym …. I’m knackered and to top it off with mummy duties would be a step too far but had to be done (reluctantly).

I’m literally camped out in the front room because the 25 steps to the stairs and 13 treads up to my bedroom is too much to bare, even though the clock is ticking and bedtime has passed, I’m camped out hoping someone will come and carry me up…… side note – this is never gonna happen, no one in this house that that level of empathy, pity or compassion.

To top it off, the thought of having to do it all again tomorrow makes the 25 steps and 13 treads even more stressful.

I want to be out there living my best life but bills need to be paid and responsibilities covered but despite my moaning I actually like what I do.

But I do feel like there is more out there for me and it’s a matter of time before I’m in a position to do it full time. But for now, it’s time to get up, make that first step towards the bedroom and mentally prep myself for the rest of the week.

Today’s lesson – the first step is the hardest

Posted in Random, Rants

I’m the same …. But I’m different

There is so much I have had to consciously leave in 2017, it sounds corny but I literally have to make a mental note that something’s need to be left in the past and by carrying out the same actions you are simply carrying bad habits into the new year.

I am by no way perfect and still have a amendments a mountain high but something’s just can’t continue, some people just can’t come too. It’s weird how the word “friendship” or even the length of time you know someone translates into loyalty for those that may not deserve it.

What better time than the clock chiming midnight of 2017 to create a line in the sand. I’ve realised it doesn’t even need an announcement sometimes a quiet movement away from the negative energy is enough…. it doesn’t even need to be New Years, it just needs to be a heartfelt decision. And like the results of a diet – I feel better for it

Today’s thought Everything is a choice – whether good or bad, stay or leave

On 1/12/2018 I made mine

Posted in blogging, Random, Rants

Making promises you can’t keep

The title has given it away…..

With all the good intention in the world, today just wasn’t my day and tomorrow is likely not to be my day either….. It’s not like I don’t have a chance to change the state of play but after very quick and careful consideration I have chosen a box of maltesers over two sessions of yoga and the email backlog.

I am fully aware that the more “rest” days I have the less likely I am to complete the challenge but it’s Saturday, my house is now empty after another evening of entertaining and I just wanna chill. Sorry not sorry. But I’m still blogging and the penny challenge is on track – so 2/3 ain’t bad right.

Today thought was provoked by my obsession with “list”. Although through bullet journaling I am able to keep track of all the things that I need to do and believe me there are loads. Giving myself daily tasks rather than monthly list is often the cause of my disappointment as there are only 24 hours in the day but I seem to always give myself tasks that require 26 or 27 hours to complete (leading me to think it’s possible) but it’s not and I am always faced with the choice – Do I steal hours from tomorrow or pick the most important tasks are just complete that??? It’s a dilemma I deal with often.

I know it’s not sustainable so I intend to work with more focus and be realistic in my goals.

The idealistic approach sounds great but is it sustainable?? Realistic may not be impressive but it will reap results

Posted in blogging, Random, Uncategorized

Off plan or No plan ??? You decide…..

So today was my last day of freedom before I return to work next week. It was meant to be full of personal achievements, box ticking and all round completion….. but it was interrupted by other around me and some how I end up in the town centre with shopping bags (breaking no spend January- 5 days in).

My only victory was the timeframe and underspend, basically I convinced myself I didn’t need that top that I’m now trolling the internet looking and I parked in a place where I was time restricted to stop it being a “day out”

But it still appeared to be all downhill from there, although I am now a proud owner of a yoga mat, 24 hours have passed and I missed today’s session. Then we had family visit so the evening tasks were swapped for laughter and dining out.

I even missed the bloggers deadline….. but in true “me” fashion and with the optimism that 2018 is more about the long game and creating change rather than beating myself up for my failures, I’m here at 3.34am giving you #day5 with the plan to do 2 sessions of yoga in the morning (later)

Today’s lesson – better late than never, but never late is better…….. Drake

Posted in blogging, Random

Action vs Procrastination

Woke up sluggish….. something definitely needs to change as I’ve not had that instant bounce in my step yet this year. Maybe it’s my diet, sleeping pattern or the realisation that my free days are coming to an end and I will be back at work on Monday. #sobs

But I decided that I would rest for the morning as that was what my body was calling for and be productive in the afternoon. I can only say that what was an intended rest could have turned into procrastination as I could easily have turned today into a duvet day but I knew that the list is too long to comp,eye in one day and tomorrow would be the last chance to tick things off.

So I got up and now I feel AMAZING as I have managed to get so much done and even did my yoga session – 4 days and counting

Today’s lesson – Procrastination is easy but Action is amazing

Posted in blogging, Emotion, Friendship, Random, Uncategorized, Women

A start is a start right??

Day 3 and the struggle sets in…..

I have to keep telling myself you can start any day ….. it doesn’t have to be Monday, the 1st, the beginning of the day, week, month or year. You just have to say it’s your day one and you want to make a start. So although I got up this morning and was convinced that just 72 hours into the new year I had missed the boat and some changes would have to wait until another time.

I had so many things, challenges and tasks and I was gonna start them all on the first of January and although I had begun some new things, there were others that I just didn’t begin BUT after the usual cycle of doubting myself and disbelief in my own abilities……. I started!!

Along with the blogging, I will be doing 30 days of yoga….. I’m two sessions in and feeling better for it

I’m guessing today’s lesson is …… You wanna start something? Then start !!

Posted in Emotion, Friendship, Random, Relationship, Women

Being Grateful

I woke up this morning with a banging headache but love in my heart.

It’s day 2 of 365 and last night was spent with more friends who have being family.

I’ve been so productive this morning but there is much to do as the end of 2017 was blighted with sickness and procrastination. BUT I’m remaining positive and picking up the slack from yesteryear.

In a show of gratitude I also send a friend a text explaining how grateful I am to have her in my life, I think it’s really important that you tell people how you feel and show your appreciation. I feel like we take our gratitude for granted and although they may know how you feel – it’s better to express it.

I’ve also started posting positivity mantras to give myself daily motivation. Check me out on Instagram

Today’s quote is “If you don’t like where you are MOVE, you’re not a tree

So I’m taking the bull by the horns and detoxing – MIND BODY AND MENTALITY

#Day2 Positivity is key and if you don’t like something , change it xx

Posted in Random, Women

Here we go….. #Day1

So we’ve made it …. 2018 – Be good to me please

After what can only be described as a perfect start to the new year, (full of food, drink and family) I am ready to tackle the new year with 100% enthusiasm.

I have been questioning the purpose of this blog as initially it was to get stuff off my chest in a way you can only do anonymously. This will remain the primary feature, but I also feel that it should cover the things that we don’t talk about. Like marriage and parenting or the unspoken guilt that comes with working and holding all these titles (wife, mother, daughter…. you get my drift)

I will start with the 31 day blogging to get my feet wet and hope that you will stay for the ride

Today is LITERALLY #DAYOne ……

Posted in Emotion, Letters, Women

Just go 

Do you ever just wanna get in your car and just go?? 

With no location in mind, just drive away….. maybe it's the fight or flight theory in action but I've noticed this feeling has been creeping in more and more. 

I go from being wound so tight that my attitude towards life becomes painful to complete reluctance to cooperating because I know it's not being done my way in my timeframe – YES, I see the control freak elements of that sentence but I also know that most of what I do is not for my own direct benefit. That's why it's fustrating 

I wonder whether my real issue is communication, maybe I'm not expressing myself in a way that motivates those around me to fulfil the required tasks or maybe my levels of expectation is just too high…. I don't know 

What I do know is that something needs to change – this is not healthy